What's been helpful: not tracking my steps and focusing on enjoying my walks for their own sake. In fact, I don't track anything anymore. I just DO things--lift weights a couple times a week, amble around the neighborhood, go to yoga on Tuesdays, eat veggies for most of my meals (because I like them), and read all the books I want. I used to set goals, but it really took the fun out of life. I figured it's healthier to just do the things I know are good for me as a matter of course and not always be setting the bar higher and higher. As someone with a chronic condition that's sometimes unpredictable, it was also discouraging when I had weeks where things didn't go the way I expected. Now every time I get a walk in or have a delicious meal, I feel so grateful. :)
What has actually worked was giving up "productive" mornings. I am naturally a morning person and have long tried to be that early riser who mediated, wrote, and hit the gym before my 9-to-5. But I stopped. Great sleep is more important. Checking in with myself with no agenda or timeline is more important. Gently waking and easing into my day results in an overall quieter pace and reduction in anxiety. It took me a long time to realize that I didn't owe the most vibrant part of my day to to a job. I took it back as mine. Good for the CEO who gets a day's worth of tasks checked off before 7 am, but, for me, the quiet, reclaiming of my morning results in a day I enjoy.
Soooper unhelpful is any advice that has no answer when asked, how does one apply your advice while primary parenting a two year old? Hustle bro culture can suck it. Shout out to the Book, Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner.
Worst advice: “Don’t check your email first thing in the morning. Instead, start with your important work.”
Well, I tried that and would get so anxious that I simply wouldn’t do anything at all. It turns out that, at least for me with my anxiety and ADHD, starting my day with email actually makes me MORE productive. Email is easy and non-threatening, so it doesn’t make me too scared to begin. Then, once I’ve already started working, moving onto the next task I need to do doesn’t seem so scary.
It really made me realize that for people with certain mental health conditions, a lot of productivity advice doesn’t work and may even be harmful.
Oy, so much I could say! But we'll be at this 3x a week for a year, so there's plenty of opportunity, right? :)
I'm one of those people for whom meditation works. And I very much appreciate what you've said here. (Irony alert:) I've learned via my meditation is that my lifelong rule-following (ie, "do as you're told," "be a good girl," etc.) doesn't keep me safe. This is obvious, of course, but I didn't even realize I felt that way, nor did I realize that's what I was doing. I can see it now. I'll never be an out-and-out rebel, but I have learned that rules are, indeed, just guidelines, and I must trust the compass within.
Excellent points - thanks so much! Worst advice: When I was truly miserable a couple of months into in a 1-year volunteer program after college, I was told that I had to stick it out so I could "learn to always keep my commitments" (though that had never been a problem in the past). I did, and my life got significantly worse due to the knock-on effects of ignoring what my gut was trying to scream at me. I found that making a practice of ignoring it in this way was a deeply unhealthy habit that accrued: I felt less and less like myself, had a harder time hearing my gut after a while, and felt increasingly unhappy, as a consequence of which I made more, bigger bad choices - choices I know I never would have made if I had just left that program when I knew to leave. So that's why it's important to follow your gut: not just because of the benefits for right now, but for what it means about the habits you are building and the cumulative consequences of listening or not listening, over time.
Best advice - which could maybe apply to some of the comments below... Be curious not judgemental. (not Walt Whitman via Ted Lasso) Being curious about self/others is a really useful starting point.
One thing that's been helpful to me: Picking a direction and just going for it (whether it was the 'right' thing for me at the time or the 'wrong' thing).
I can paralyze myself by obsessing over all of the options, but that obsession gets me nowhere. I've been living 10+ years with the "f it" mentality and it's been so transformative.
If there were a one-size-fits-all solution to living, humans would have found it by now. I find tracking some things helpful but not others. I also need what I call a "long on-ramp" and "long off-ramp" each day, meaning I get up 90 minutes before I need to go anywhere or do anything and I wind down about 90 minutes before lights out, because I learned I need plenty of time to transition into and out of my day. Oh, and we admitted to our kids long ago that adults were just making everything up as we went along. They seemed to appreciate the honesty.
Worst advice: I used to suffer from debilitating migraines. Advice from the person who was supposed to help me? "You need to chill out and stop worrying so much."
This series is so funny to me. Chris Guillebeau's blog was the original source that sent me down a rabbit hole of unhelpful productivity "hacks" and goal-setting that eventually led to a pretty severe creative block. Not saying it was his fault or anything! It was definitely a problem in me, but it's interesting to see him showing up with a new attitude just as I'm finding my way to a healthier lifestyle as well.
My most useful life hack for defeating intense creative block and lack of motivation: intense therapy. ;p
As someone who now meditates and finds it extremely helpful, I 100% agree that meditation isn't for everyone.
I used to have debilitating PTSD. When I tried to meditate, it would always end in a major, multi-hour long panic attack. Meditating only became helpful for me *after* I addressed some of the underlying issues and spent almost five full years in intensive therapy. Before that, anytime someone told me to meditate, I just wanted to punch them.
HELPFUL: Learning I'm not "effed up", I have off the charts ADD. :-)
SUPER HELPFUL: Learning how to turn my ADD into a superpower by working WITH my brain, instead of against it. (And it explains why I've been a serial entrepreneur and work best at startups, vs. established lifeless corporations, etc.)
NOT HELPFUL: Same as Chris... Telling me to focus, just work harder, wake up earlier, etc.
A turning point for me was recognizing that I wasn’t receiving a lot of return on the effort I was putting into my work. Of course, I was paid. Yes, I helped others (very one-sided). And yes, there was always ten more things to pick up once you wrapped one up.
So I started putting more into the things that did give back. Taking walks, sitting (doing nothing) in the sun on a nice day, preparing slow meals. My actual output isn’t much less, but I’m less invested in it. Most of it didn’t matter - not really.
I think what I’m curious about is if there’s something actually wrong with that. I’ve been setting and achieving goals for so long. I kind of just want to be.
Worst advice isn't what kind of advice its how its given. I rebel against advice that's given as "you should" or 'need to' or 'must'. I don't want people to tell me what to do.
I want advice to tell me what kinds of tools I could put into my (virtual) box or try out to see if they work for me. I want to see what works for others and try it out for myself. I want to be treated as an intelligent individual who has enough brains to figure stuff out for myself once I have enough information.
Sometimes I just want to know where to find more reliable information. I want to trust my sources.
Best advice: know thyself. Doesn’t matter what works for others unless they share similar traits. I will never be a morning person. I rebel against structure. So why not find what works for me instead of fitting into the box of someone who thrives on discipline?
What's been helpful: not tracking my steps and focusing on enjoying my walks for their own sake. In fact, I don't track anything anymore. I just DO things--lift weights a couple times a week, amble around the neighborhood, go to yoga on Tuesdays, eat veggies for most of my meals (because I like them), and read all the books I want. I used to set goals, but it really took the fun out of life. I figured it's healthier to just do the things I know are good for me as a matter of course and not always be setting the bar higher and higher. As someone with a chronic condition that's sometimes unpredictable, it was also discouraging when I had weeks where things didn't go the way I expected. Now every time I get a walk in or have a delicious meal, I feel so grateful. :)
What has actually worked was giving up "productive" mornings. I am naturally a morning person and have long tried to be that early riser who mediated, wrote, and hit the gym before my 9-to-5. But I stopped. Great sleep is more important. Checking in with myself with no agenda or timeline is more important. Gently waking and easing into my day results in an overall quieter pace and reduction in anxiety. It took me a long time to realize that I didn't owe the most vibrant part of my day to to a job. I took it back as mine. Good for the CEO who gets a day's worth of tasks checked off before 7 am, but, for me, the quiet, reclaiming of my morning results in a day I enjoy.
Soooper unhelpful is any advice that has no answer when asked, how does one apply your advice while primary parenting a two year old? Hustle bro culture can suck it. Shout out to the Book, Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner.
Worst advice: “Don’t check your email first thing in the morning. Instead, start with your important work.”
Well, I tried that and would get so anxious that I simply wouldn’t do anything at all. It turns out that, at least for me with my anxiety and ADHD, starting my day with email actually makes me MORE productive. Email is easy and non-threatening, so it doesn’t make me too scared to begin. Then, once I’ve already started working, moving onto the next task I need to do doesn’t seem so scary.
It really made me realize that for people with certain mental health conditions, a lot of productivity advice doesn’t work and may even be harmful.
Oy, so much I could say! But we'll be at this 3x a week for a year, so there's plenty of opportunity, right? :)
I'm one of those people for whom meditation works. And I very much appreciate what you've said here. (Irony alert:) I've learned via my meditation is that my lifelong rule-following (ie, "do as you're told," "be a good girl," etc.) doesn't keep me safe. This is obvious, of course, but I didn't even realize I felt that way, nor did I realize that's what I was doing. I can see it now. I'll never be an out-and-out rebel, but I have learned that rules are, indeed, just guidelines, and I must trust the compass within.
Excellent points - thanks so much! Worst advice: When I was truly miserable a couple of months into in a 1-year volunteer program after college, I was told that I had to stick it out so I could "learn to always keep my commitments" (though that had never been a problem in the past). I did, and my life got significantly worse due to the knock-on effects of ignoring what my gut was trying to scream at me. I found that making a practice of ignoring it in this way was a deeply unhealthy habit that accrued: I felt less and less like myself, had a harder time hearing my gut after a while, and felt increasingly unhappy, as a consequence of which I made more, bigger bad choices - choices I know I never would have made if I had just left that program when I knew to leave. So that's why it's important to follow your gut: not just because of the benefits for right now, but for what it means about the habits you are building and the cumulative consequences of listening or not listening, over time.
Best advice - which could maybe apply to some of the comments below... Be curious not judgemental. (not Walt Whitman via Ted Lasso) Being curious about self/others is a really useful starting point.
Worst advice - don't get a dog.
One thing that's been helpful to me: Picking a direction and just going for it (whether it was the 'right' thing for me at the time or the 'wrong' thing).
I can paralyze myself by obsessing over all of the options, but that obsession gets me nowhere. I've been living 10+ years with the "f it" mentality and it's been so transformative.
If there were a one-size-fits-all solution to living, humans would have found it by now. I find tracking some things helpful but not others. I also need what I call a "long on-ramp" and "long off-ramp" each day, meaning I get up 90 minutes before I need to go anywhere or do anything and I wind down about 90 minutes before lights out, because I learned I need plenty of time to transition into and out of my day. Oh, and we admitted to our kids long ago that adults were just making everything up as we went along. They seemed to appreciate the honesty.
Worst advice: I used to suffer from debilitating migraines. Advice from the person who was supposed to help me? "You need to chill out and stop worrying so much."
Okay... I'll get right on that.
This series is so funny to me. Chris Guillebeau's blog was the original source that sent me down a rabbit hole of unhelpful productivity "hacks" and goal-setting that eventually led to a pretty severe creative block. Not saying it was his fault or anything! It was definitely a problem in me, but it's interesting to see him showing up with a new attitude just as I'm finding my way to a healthier lifestyle as well.
My most useful life hack for defeating intense creative block and lack of motivation: intense therapy. ;p
FocusMate is working for me, too. Lol
As someone who now meditates and finds it extremely helpful, I 100% agree that meditation isn't for everyone.
I used to have debilitating PTSD. When I tried to meditate, it would always end in a major, multi-hour long panic attack. Meditating only became helpful for me *after* I addressed some of the underlying issues and spent almost five full years in intensive therapy. Before that, anytime someone told me to meditate, I just wanted to punch them.
HELPFUL: Learning I'm not "effed up", I have off the charts ADD. :-)
SUPER HELPFUL: Learning how to turn my ADD into a superpower by working WITH my brain, instead of against it. (And it explains why I've been a serial entrepreneur and work best at startups, vs. established lifeless corporations, etc.)
NOT HELPFUL: Same as Chris... Telling me to focus, just work harder, wake up earlier, etc.
A turning point for me was recognizing that I wasn’t receiving a lot of return on the effort I was putting into my work. Of course, I was paid. Yes, I helped others (very one-sided). And yes, there was always ten more things to pick up once you wrapped one up.
So I started putting more into the things that did give back. Taking walks, sitting (doing nothing) in the sun on a nice day, preparing slow meals. My actual output isn’t much less, but I’m less invested in it. Most of it didn’t matter - not really.
I think what I’m curious about is if there’s something actually wrong with that. I’ve been setting and achieving goals for so long. I kind of just want to be.
Worst advice isn't what kind of advice its how its given. I rebel against advice that's given as "you should" or 'need to' or 'must'. I don't want people to tell me what to do.
I want advice to tell me what kinds of tools I could put into my (virtual) box or try out to see if they work for me. I want to see what works for others and try it out for myself. I want to be treated as an intelligent individual who has enough brains to figure stuff out for myself once I have enough information.
Sometimes I just want to know where to find more reliable information. I want to trust my sources.
Best advice: know thyself. Doesn’t matter what works for others unless they share similar traits. I will never be a morning person. I rebel against structure. So why not find what works for me instead of fitting into the box of someone who thrives on discipline?